working on a sort function-- perhaps i should sort my reviews and ratings in some sort of library? unclear. we will work it out!

damp and dark seattle weather has me feeling like it's constantly dusk. the sun has been setting all day-- it never rose.

contrary to popular opinion, i'm a big fan of this gloomy atmosphere. i feel tired all the time anyway, might as well have an excuse for it. now i can go around saying i feel tired because of the dark sky, the cold, etc. now i am complaining for a reason.

complaining is the topic of today's reflection (my first one, but whatever) because i feel the need to complain about how often i complain. i am a serial complainer-- whenever there is a lull in the conversation, where the average person would redirect to a more worthwhile topic, i complain. sometimes, i don't even feel strongly about the things i am complaining about. when i complain about the rain, trust that i do not truly feel that way, i just need to blame something for the exhaustion i am feeling.

about three months ago, i decided i would make an active effort to stop complaining, and then i forgot about that effort immediately until this morning, when i found myself complaining about the same thing for the third time to the same group of people.

it dawned on me then how little they care about this trivial thing that i cannot seem to stop myself from sharing with them. what would i gain from sharing this minor inconvenience with a group of friends who couldn't care less, other than a few pitying looks before we move on to bigger, better things? i, personally, never know what to say when someone else begins to complain-- how can i expect better from others when i start to do the same?

anyways. a new year's resolution, a few months early: stop complaining.

the weather is great.

see you all next time!

finally finished this page. currently hiding in my car in the rain at 6 in the morning outside the pool. having turned in my english homework after working on it all night (and morning, i suppose), i suddenly regret choosing to skip practice. i probably could have finished my english homework in the time between practice and school. but whatever.

it's been getting colder lately-- the tree in front of my house has finally shed its leaves, and the dreary seattle weather is starting to seep in. to be honest, i love the rain, especially when i'm on the inside looking out. but, at the moment, the interior of my car is not nearly inside enough, and i'm frozen quite literally to my bones.

i'll start working on reviews and stuff-- copying older drafts from my now defunct rym account as well as copying over some of my forgotten letterboxd reviews.

see you all next time!